ETERNAL DAMNATION: EDGY TO A BLEEDING T

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tw: mention of sexual assault. it's not descriptive in my review or in-game, but it is mentioned in both.

*cracks knuckles*

if you've ever played postal 2, you know it's offensive, graphic, and stupid. it's infamous among everyone from parents and politicians. now what if the brutality and edge-soaked aesthetic were cranked to the next level? what if the line between serious and stupid was so blurred that it was completely impossible to tell if the game was "for real" or not? what if postal dude's abrasiveness was turned up to 11, his self-awareness was thrown into a flaming garbage can, and his favorite band was breaking benjamin? meet eternal damnation, a mod so excessively over-the-top that it makes other offensive media seem like it's not trying hard enough. i don't believe that this was intended, either; the game was just written and designed by a 14 year old ao3 angst fic writer hot off the heels of finished elfen lied.

these are a few tight hours of erratic plot twists paired with violence so absurd that the blood decals slow the engine to a slideshow crawl. the combat and setpieces are shockingly well-paced. the level design and massive hordes of enemies are comparable to a musuo. the creators balanced this by giving you a huge arsenal of new weapons that were NOT included in postal 2, ranging from berettas that explode heads to flamethrowers made out of axe body spray. that's game design, baby.

john is the worst protagonist in any video game ever created (up there with alex yiik) and is introduced in the edgiest way possible. the game cold opens with john in a padded cell. why is he there? because postal dude tried to sexually assault his girlfriend. cue a flashback of john beating the SHIT out of him and throwing him down multiple sets of stairs. moments later, we are tossed into the gameplay and forced to punch incredible volumes of blood out of mental hospital workers and patients. this is not even close to the most provocative moment. i will spoil NONE of them. this game has a got damn chemical imbalance. get some friends together, set aside a few hours, and play eternal damnation. you won't regret it.

END GAME REVIEW