MASTERPIECE, MASTERPIECE, MASTERPIECE
yeah, maybe it's a bit of a chronic rsi-mare considering you need to either mash your shit or roll all 3 face buttons in order to get a high enough dps for the late game bosses (this is much easier on the saturn controller - i recommend buying retrobit's saturn pro controller or the 8bitdo m30, i own both and they're fantastic). and maybe it should tell you that there's a handy-dandy dodge in the controls menu. even still, nothing stopped panzer dragoon from enrapturing all of my brainwaves for days. a straight up perfectly designed video game with beautiful visuals directed by the one and only jean giraud. don't listen to anyone that tells you to skip to the later entries and DO NOT USE SAVE STATES. there's an easy mode and the japanese version of the game is much easier (there is like maybe 30 seconds of untranslated non-essential text, you'll be fine). save states ruin the fun.
part of me wants to move onto zwei and saga (which will surely blow my mind), but part of me wants to replay this a couple times. let it soak in, ya know? for a game with no real story, it sure did move me... unforgettable architecture in this one, i tell ya
edit: i no longer own either of those controllers. i own a saturn 3d controller with a usb-c adapter. it comes highly recommended.
i can't even tell you how good panzer dragoon ii is. it makes me want to throw up. i could replay this every day until i die and never touch another video game and still be satisfied.
panzer dragoon was, on the macro, a masterpiece. it had these broad strokes of genius and a bold artistic statement. so zwei takes (as any good sequel does) the focus down to the micro details. make the aiming feel better and look cooler. make the dragon physically change depending on your score. add more variety to the levels (which they didn't need - the original's levels are amazing even on the 50th go-around). more customization. i was so, so concerned going in that zwei would make some huge additions and hurt the simplicity. nah, instead andromeda just fine tuned the exact shit i like to take their series from epic gaming to straight up heroin. inject this shit into my veins.
the most wondrous encapsulation of zwei's magic comes in its 4th episode, a revisiting of the spinal caves from the first game with the new xtra-creamy graphics. take the high route, #3, it's the most fun. you're sent blasting through the tunnels like lost world from sa1 (one of the best levels in... anything) and trying your best to lock onto big, weaving hordes of enemies that look and feel like they're ferociously hunting you despite their minimal animation. the layout takes full use of the rotating camera as it has you spinning around to hit enemies from all sides, only to have to whip back to the front to avoid a close call with a rocky door. it's exhilarating! it's the pinnacle of entertainment software! it's panzer dragoon zwei, an rail shooter so magical in both an artistic and mechanical sense that it has the sway and stay of any 30 hour masterpiece rpg. play these games or i'll eat your dog.
and don't even get me started on the music. we'll be here all day.
now for the obligatory HEATHER'S TIPS SO YOU DON'T PLAY THE GAME WRONG AND LOOK LIKE A DOUCHEBAG/GAME CRITIC:
- PLAY THE FIRST GAME!!!!! ITS AMAZING!!!! ZWEI IS NOT A REPLACEMENT!!!!
- go to the settings and turn "instruments" onto full. instruments mean hud. more hud is good because this game has shit going on that you'll struggle to intuit
- DO NOT do the 3 button roll trick like you would in panzer dragoon 1. the boost to your dps is questionable at best. most bosses are easily defeatable with the lock-on or not-crippling levels of mashing anyway. also, big lock-ons give you big bucko bungus points
- avoid using berserk, it sucks for points and big points means big dragon.
- don't play route 1 for every stage. route 1 is boring by design. it's worth restarting a level (press all fire buttons and l+r at once) a few times to find where the route split is.
- still don't use save states, you dumbass! there's a save after every episode! (save end. use it every time you beat a level)
END GAME REVIEW