SONIC ADVENTURE: ANIME SHIT
i've been trying to write a review for sonic adventure for months and i keep coming up empty-handed. there's not a whole lot i want to say that hazel didn't say better in her AMAZING video. it's gonna keep bothering me, though, so i'm gonna steal a page out of the handbook of my good friend naomi and bullet point this bitch. let's go! ^0^
- sonic route > knuckles route > big route > e102 gamma route >>> tails route > amy route >>> super sonic route. i prefer tails' to amy's only by virtue of his cutscenes being absolutely adorable. the final boss/super sonic route is dogshit.
- e-102 gamma's route is a meathead shooter and if sonic team made a spin-off where you played as him i would give it 5 stars in a heartbeat
- i think sonic might be the least interesting character? which is a good thing, as it gives everybody else ample room to express themselves. i love knuckles, tails, and amy and i want to give them all hugs!
- i was ready to shit on big's route like most people do, until chandler explained why they love it and... it clicked. if you're willing to take your time and get the hang of the slight jank, you will find some of the most rewarding fishing in any video game. i don't know how i thought that the company responsible for sega bass fishing could botch it. plus JON ST JOHN WOOOO
- sonic's version of lost world is an easy contender for my favorite level in any video game. i live and breathe for the back-to-back setpieces of the speed tunnel into RIDING A GIANT MECHANICAL SERPENT IN THE MOAT OF AN ANCIENT TEMPLE. the ebbs and flows of the music work wonders too, though i wouldn't say it's a better track than the mystic ruins theme. there is no better track than the mystic ruins theme.
- egg viper is the funniest boss fight ever. GET A LOAD OF THIS
- i was expecting sa2 Starring Shadow The Hedgehog to be origin of this series' anime stylin, but nah. the knuckles and e-102 routes are super melancholic. it's awesome.
- i want to shoehorn the fact that sa1 gets shit on nowadays despite being great into the fact that ray william johnson gets shit on nowadays despite having made =3 (which i'm watching in the background as i write). honestly i've got nothing. point is i'm cringe
- "oh no"
END GAME REVIEW