THE QUIET MAN: A GAME OF CONTRASTS
red and blue. realism and ridiculous fantasy. blinding lights and pitch-black alleyways. silence and the harshest sound effects you've ever heard. in every aspect, the quiet man slams extremes together with no time for grey areas. however, the first contrast you're gonna notice is... the graphics.
for the most part, this is an Full Motion Video experience. i ADORE the presentation of this hyper-glorified nightlife, where the wasted alley-lurkers are fairly well-kept and the "nice" places pop with bright colors and opulent accents. the budget wasn't huge - these are f-list actors and the set count is LOW - but they did ok with what they had, and the cameras are much more modern than i was expecting. it's kinda funny to see what could have been some edgy cancelled show on the cw in 2012 shot with equipment this (relatively) nice. it's an example of that contrast i mentioned! anyway, the fights and the more "fantasy" cutscenes are in unreal engine. the transitions between in-engine stuff and fmvs are seamless, which is cool as hell! and extremely jarring, cuz these models are STANKY. this cast has an uncurable case of ps3 face. shit looks straight out of 2007 - and i don't see a problem with that. it's fun to look at! i don't understand why crusty graphics are inherently bad. wouldn't you rather have something offputting but interesting instead of another "acceptable" but drab game? personally, i find the live-action, ue4 crust, and transitions between oddly cozy in much the same way early fmv games are. suck it, nerds.
in your first playthrough of the quiet man, there are only muffled thumps and ps2 menu sound effects for audio. no subtitles either. this is supposed to emulate hearing loss, because dane, the main character, is deaf. people have pointed out time and time again that this doesn't hold up to scrutiny since the audio remains nearly silent in scenes where dale isn't there, as well as the fact that dane can read lips. here's the thing: i'm not a gamer. i don't care how things are marketed. the game never outright states that you're hearing what dane's hearing. is it kind of stupid? sure. in practice, however, it's a thematically relevant way of forcing you to try and piece together your own story. the actual story is completely bonkers, so you'll 100% need to play the game again once you've unlocked audio. i really hope the reputation of the quiet man doesn't discourage people from using similar gimmicks, cuz i'd love to see other devs try weird stuff like this. seeing how accurate my theories were (they were completely wrong) was a ton of fun. the audio itself is brickwalled, which is super shocking (and funny) to hear after the first playthrough.
but in order to unlock that audio, you're going to have to get through the combat. and when i say "get through", i mean ENJOY. SURPRISE, BITCHES: THE COMBAT IS FUN. deep? heeell no. nothing about tqm is deep, not even its hatred of dominican people. entertaining? heeell yes! it reminds me a lot of dragon ball xenoverse. you're teleporting between groups of enemies, ultra-instinct dodging, and kicking people so hard they fly into the air. it's a hysterical contrast to the mostly grounded cutscenes that never gets old. was this power fantasy intentional? eh, probably not. the "teleporting" i mentioned seems to be a misprogrammed lock-on that can snap and drag you to enemies across the room in a split second. then again, dane does get sort of superpowers late in the story. we also have all the wild cutscene finishers. there are SO MANY of these and they're all brutal. bitch slaps that topple jobbers, grabs that smash heads into the wall down onto the floor, curb stomps, backflip kicks, it's awesome. the end-game bossfights are the best, cuz they're 1 on 1 and you can totally wreck your opponent's shit if you can keep up an indefinite combo once their guard is broken. and it only gets crazier once the game loses its grip on reality!
the other standout facet of the combat is the visuals. nothing will prepare you for all the eye-melting kane and lynch 2 freak shit that your eyes will be subject to.
look at that. i don't even have to say anything. i'm not going to say anything. it speaks for itself.
by this point, you might be questioning what the hell this game's deal is or why i'm covering it. here's the thing: i love the quiet man. so much. there's nothing else like it out there. it's a melodramatic ps2-ass multimedia mishmash that's always at odds with itself. it's a story-driven game where the story is incomprehensible the first time you play and totally baffling (in a good way) the second time. it's a lightning-fast 2-hour romp that seems to make the "wrong" decision at every turn and go against all standards of how modern games should be by total accident. these 2 brief playthroughs forced their way into my heart with a barrage of janky punches and hallmark-tier drama. square enix, thank you for continuing to publish AA creativity like this. it makes my soul happy to see something that would have been canned by any other company come to fruition. a slightly misguided rebel with a lot of heart, just like dane. that being said, make PHYSICAL COPIES OR I AM GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASSES.
oh, also: imogen heap did the credits theme. lmao
END GAME REVIEW